


The Match Struck Thrice

by bloomejasmine



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Choose Your Own Ending, Gen, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Little Match Girl inspired, M/M, to a degree
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 16:12:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12634581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloomejasmine/pseuds/bloomejasmine
Summary: Turn it on when you get lonely,Kolivan said when handing him a small dark purple device.You can only turn that on three times, don’t use it all at once, and don't let anyone see you using it.Naively, Keith doubts he’ll use it even once.The Little Match Girl inspired fic that wouldn't leave me alone until I write it.





	The Match Struck Thrice

_Turn it on when you get lonely,_ Kolivan said when handing him a small dark purple device. _You can only turn that on three times, don’t use it all at once, and don't let anyone see you using it._

Naively, Keith doubts he’ll use it even once.

Contrary to popular impression of him, Keith does get lonely. But being with the Blade of Marmora doing dangerous mission after mission doesn’t exactly allow loneliness to seep in his bones, unlike when he was spending endless nights alone in the desert, searching for something, _anything_ to distract him. The energy emanating from the Blue Lion provided a distraction, until he found Shiro.

Keith is curious though. His blunt disposition is not incompatible with other Blades members, but he often finds himself frustrated about the cryptic and mysterious ways they talk when it comes to non-mission affairs.

_Just say what you mean to say, Kolivan. If I am not meant to know, just say so._

But as Kolivan calls for him for another briefing, he pockets the match and forgets about its existence for months.

 

**_i. they leave you and hurt you and still, still you can’t hate them_ **

Not that any of Blade of Marmora mission has ever been easy or simple, but this time it has been rougher than most. He--they’d lost three team members in a fierce fight against the Galra colony in Reza planet. It had not been a covert mission and they had been prepared for an all-out fight. The death toll is actually lower than they had expected.

It doesn’t make it any easier. The knowledge doesn’t make the achy tightness in his throat or the heat behind his eyes go away.

Keith shuffles slowly to his private bunk, rubbing his sore shoulder. _The shoulder that Vicor patted too hard that one time after our sparring session, sending my body stumbling forward, losing my balance. I ended up with my nose kissing the ground. Both Vicor and Geema laughed good-naturedly at his resulting pout._

His mind supplies the memory unhelpfully.

_Don’t think about Vicor. Don’t think about Geema._

He hadn’t interact with Iirok outside of brief exchange here and there. He hadn’t even known her face. And now he never will.

_Don't think about Iirok either._

Or maybe he should think about them, remembering their sacrifice, he thinks absentmindedly as he changes out of his Marmora suit. Because god knows the universe never will know them. _Their face their name their sacrifice._

A small dark purple object clatters out of his pocket into the floor. He catches it reflexively before it bounces too far.

_Turn it on when you get lonely._

Keith pokes around the device, turning it and rolling it around his palm, his fingers curiously searching the surface of the device. Then his finger presses something and the room is bathed in a purple glow.

A holographic image shakily fills the whole room as Keith lets go of the device in surprise. It device clatters to the floor. The image stops flickering, dark braided hair coming into view.

 _Mom,_ Keith may not remember her, not clearly. She had left before he could remember. But seeing a knife in her hand, _his_ knife, he is sure that the woman is his mother. She’s chopping something rapidly in the kitchen, occasionally twirling the knife in her hands and then throwing it up while gathering new ingredients, deftly catching it in mid-air before she gets back to cutting.

“I don’t think that’s how that blade is supposed to be used,” a voice off-screen says softly in amusement. “And cooking doesn’t involve that many knife acrobatics.”

“Maybe not for humans, my dear,” Keith’s mother turns to his father, allowing Keith to see her face. There’s a cheeky grin plastered across it, crinkling a scar across the forehead. “And is it not my handling of this knife that makes you in love with me?” she teases, leaning for a kiss.

_What are their names? I can’t believe I don’t remember. Her sclera… is yellow._

“Gross.” A new, petulant, young voice snaps Keith out of his reverie. “Can we just hurry up with the breakfast? And then! Mom can teach me cool ways how to use that knife so I can defend myself when I go to the Garrison!”

It’s _him_ . It’s himself, no more than ten years old. Heat burns at Keith’s throat. But at that age he’d already been alone. His mother left. His father is _dead_.

Keith’s mother and father exchange looks and burst into laughter and--

The light flickers out, the hologram fades, leaving Keith’s room somehow darker than before.

Keith picks the purple device up from the floor. _It’s a match, it’s on and after some time it flickers out._ Keith fingers the match, urgently searching the surface for the switch to turn it on, to see his parents again. His heart pounds in his ears.

_You can only use it three times. Don’t use it all at once._

His hand stills.

_Three times. Only three times to see my parents. That’s mean, Kolivan._

He pockets the match and drifts off to sleep.

When Keith wakes up, he still remembers the deceased Blades, but the thought stings less when it’s mixed with the vision of his parents.

And later in the day, after he strategizes with Kolivan and Shiro over a conference call, he asks, “Shiro, Kolivan, what do you think about some kind of marker? Graves, to remember all the Blade of Marmora members who lost their lives in the line of duty?”

 

**_ii. you are happy with where you are but you just can’t help but wish for more_ **

Keith plans to use the match again only when he really needs it, but the second time he lights the match not even a month later, he is driven by curiosity more than anything else. A couple days ago, he’d tried to ask Kolivan again about his mother, about how much of the Marmora trial hallucination was true. Had his mother been a member of the Blades?

“Focus on the mission, Keith,” Kolivan had said, to Keith’s frustration, but he’d swallowed his protests. It’s only now that Keith allows himself to ponder on his mother while playing with the match.

_Why is it such a secret?_

He tosses the match upward and catches it mid-air.

_Is it really her face? If I turn it on again, will I see the same face?_

Keith flicks the match on, lips tight.

Contrary to his expectation, the holo-screen doesn’t show his parents’ faces again, instead, he sees Shiro’s face, smiling to someone offscreen. He is wearing his casual outfit. His scar is present and his white tuft short.

Keith frowns. _This doesn’t make sense. I just saw Shiro this morning via video call. Will my parents join the scene? Are we fighting against the Galra together?_

Shiro beckons to the person off-screen while laughing, his human hand waving the person closer. And suddenly he sees his own figure joining Shiro on the holo-screen, casually circling his arms around Shiro’s neck. He leans into Shiro’s body, and melts into a kiss with a sigh.

Keith’s cheeks burn immediately at the sight.

He wants to avert his gaze but finds himself unable to. It’s his deepest secret. Nobody is supposed to know. He’s never told anyone about his stupid blossoming crush, beginning in their time in Garrison Galaxy,when Shiro was still his guiding light. And then he learned to see Shiro the person and not the perfect human legend Garrison peddled and his stupid crush had only grown more intense.

Ever since he’d become  aware of his feelings, he’d tried hard to keep them under control. Hard to do that now, when he sees an image, a dream that will never come true, right in front of his eyes. The Shiro and Keith on the screen have their eyes closed, fingers searching each other’s faces and body, desperate and yearning for each other yet so tender.

It sends a sweet ache roiling through him. To see such an impossible dream of his being displayed so blatantly. Straight to the guts.

The figures in the hologram screen finally break apart.

“Tired?” Shiro murmurs gently into not-Keith’s mouth.

“A bit,” not-Keith replies. “I miss you. I miss fighting by your side.”

“Then stay. Stay with me. Fight with us.”

“You know I can’t do that, Shiro.” not-Keith softly nestles his head into Shiro’s neck. “I have to do my part here, and I’m most efficient with the Blade of Marmora.”

Shiro sighs and wraps his arms around not-Keith’s waist. He whispers lovingly into his hair. “I’m proud of--”

The screen flickers shut.

Keith is still as a statue for two whole minutes, staring into the far wall of his bedroom, until the heat in his face gradually dissipates.

He has never allowed himself to linger on his hopeless crush. Shiro’s his friend, his mentor, his comrade, his _brother_ .  It’s already a miracle a person like Shiro is friends with him. He treasures his current relationship with Shiro. His friendship, his leadership, his _trust_.

He would never do anything to jeopardize that trust. He would not entertain the idea of _confessing his feelings_ , would never do anything to ruin the relationship that’s already been frayed, lately.

He would never tell him. But maybe this once, he can dream of what could’ve been if he had enough courage to confess. If Shiro returned his feelings.

 _I will not be able to look Shiro in the face for a couple of days, though,_ Keith thinks absently as he sleeps with a slight embarrassed smile, burying his hot cheeks into the cool sheets.

 

**_iii. you found a family that loves you for who you are and it’s the one you will leave behind_ **

_“...Maybe not with our weapon.”_

For a split second, Keith wonders if this is the right decision, lighting the match when he’s seconds away from slamming into a Galra particle barrier for a tiny hope that it’ll go down.

_You’re not even lonely now. This is a bad idea. You will hesitate, resulting in billions of lives lost. Naxzela is a bomb that can wipe out ten solar systems._

He lights the match with bated breath, bathing the previously red interior of the ship in purple. All the while, he doesn’t slow down the speed of his stolen Galra ship. Instead, he accelerates it up to maximum speed, matching the adrenaline pumping through his veins.

_Will I see my family again?_

The screen shows Shiro laughing, hugging Keith affectionately, making on-screen Keith blush. Then it flickers to Lance, gently cuffing his head at something he said, prompting a mildly displeased grunt from him. Flickers to Pidge, excitedly chattering to the team about a marvel of technology they discovered from a new planet, making Keith blink rapidly as he tries to follow what she says.

_“Keith, wait! What are you doing? Keith, no!”_

Matt’s words are a distant echo in Keith’s ears. He cannot look away from the match’s ever changing holo-screen.

There’s Hunk, proudly presenting his new creations to the dinner table. Allura, playing with the mice after leading a diplomatic meeting. Coran, telling them of old Altean tradition. Kolivan, scolding him for a risky stunt he’d pulled.

Keith laughs wetly, his smile bittersweet.

_“...I’ve grown to consider you and the paladins my family.”_

He doesn’t need to worry about hesitation. He _does_ see his family again. He's no longer the little boy longingly looking in from the outside. The vision just makes him more determined to do this. Haggar and the Galra empire must be stopped.

All of them, together, frolicking on top of Blue Lion and watching A movie. They’ve never watched a movie together before. It’s a picture of the future. A future they may never have if he doesn’t do this. He might not be there with them, but they will be _alive_.

The match flickers shut for the third and last time. Keith focuses on the particle barrier in front of him. His ship accelerates at alarming speed.

_I can do this. I can save them all. I couldn’t find my blood family but I can save this one._

_Please, live. End this war. Win the war._

Keith squeezes his eyes shut.

_Brace for impact._

**FIN**

 

**Author's Note:**

> The most grateful-est thank you to [ themorninglark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/themorninglark/pseuds/themorninglark) for beta-ing this fic. I haven't written fics since 2007 so this 2k fic took embarrassingly long time to finish. But this idea won't leave me alone and even though I'm primarily a fanartist I can't help but think this would be better in fic format
> 
> Does Keith in this fic saved by Lotor afterwards? Well, you can choose whatever ending you may wish.
> 
> Talk sheith to me on tumblr or twitter @bloomejasmine.


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